So Close to Being a Mom…

I’m sorry that it has been so long since our last adoption update. It has been a crazy last couple of months.

In early August Joe and I were finally matched. The expectant mother lives in Maine and was due in October with a baby boy. We spent the next few months finishing up the nursery, making travel arrangements, and buying all the necessary items to care for a newborn. We were stressed, nervous, and excited all at the same time! It was hard to believe that our dream of becoming parents was coming true.

About two weeks ago we found out that the baby would be born via C-section on the morning of October 2^nd. We had planned to leave for Maine on September 29^th. On Friday, one day before we were due to leave, we received a phone call that would once again turn our world upside down.

The expectant mother had changed her mind. It is unclear what happened but she is now insisting that we are not the couple she had chosen to raise her child. At this moment we are not sure if she will choose another adoptive couple or parent the baby herself. Regardless of what she decides, we truly wish the best for both mom and baby.

We are understandably heartbroken. However, we are trying to remain hopeful. We know that our little one will find us one day.

Pass Them On!

A few weeks ago we decided to order adoption pass along cards from http://www.adoptionpassalongcards.com. We hope to use these cards to get our names out there and let people know that we are hoping to adopt.

For those of you that aren’t familiar with adoption pass along cards, they are typically used as a valuable networking tool.  The idea is to get as many of these business cards out there as possible in hopes that they’ll land in the hands of someone who is thinking of placing their child for adoption.

We’ve heard numerous success stories from other adoptive couples who used pass along cards. Often their child’s birthmother found them through a family friend, a former neighbor, a co-worker, etc. The point is that you just never know what will happen when you pass out one of these cards. If you’d like to help us become a family of three, please keep a few of our cards in your purse or wallet and look for opportunities to give them out

If you interested in passing these cards along to your friends/family/colleagues, please e-mail me at family@rachelandjoeadopt.com. Be sure to include your mailing address and the number of cards you’d like.

The Agape Project

I recently came across this beautiful video about adoption. It was so touching that I had to share it with everyone! 

Here is a description of the video that I found on YouTube

"The Agape Project is a personal project that involved birth moms and adoptive families to show how much love there is in adoption. I wanted to create an awareness video to educate others on adoption. It has been such a huge part of my life and has made my dreams come true. I hope anyone considering to place their child for adoption will be moved after watching this amazing video". -Briana Marie 

For more information visit. http://www.TheAgapeProject.net

Being Active and Getting Ready

Here is a long overdue update on how the adoption is going. Sorry for the delay but we have been pretty busy over the last couple of weeks.

On Friday, February 24th we received a phone call from Jenny, a social worker with Adoptions of Wisconsin. She informed us that AOW had an unexpected opening in their pool of waiting families and the spot was ours if we wanted it! Of course we said yes and we are now officially ACTIVE! It was a wonderful surprise, especially when we didn’t expect to be put in the waiting pool until April or May. Now we just have to wait for the phone call that will change our lives.

The Tuesday after going active we got an inquiry from AOW. They were going to start working with a law firm in another state. It was our choice whether or not this law firm would have access to our profile. We were told that adoptions in this state can cost upwards of $40k (Compared to $24-28k in Wisconsin). This law firm had birthmothers waiting to be matched and no waiting adoptive families. After discussing the opportunity Joe and I decided not to have our information provided to the firm. There was just too much financial risk. If we had a failed adoption through the law firm there was a good chance we wouldn’t have enough money to try again. Although this was a difficult decision, it was the right one for us.

To keep ourselves occupied during the wait we have been preparing for the baby. For one, we recently purchased a few essential baby items (car seat, binkies, diaper bag, etc.). I have also been researching cloth diapering (which is a lot more complicated than you might think). I am so grateful to have friends with experience in cloth diapering (thanks Kristen and Erin). They have really helped me sort through all of the information.

We’ve also started working on the nursery. Below you can see a couple pictures of what the nursery looked like before we started fixing it up. At this point we have painted the walls and the new carpet is due to be installed in a couple of weeks. After the carpet is in I will be sure to post more pictures. Our next step will be to purchase furniture items such as a crib and dresser. 

Slight Delay

About a week ago we learned that we would not be put in the pool of waiting families in January like originally thought. It turns out another AOW couple’s adoption fell through. As a result, they will not be coming off the waiting list (we were going to take their spot). Unfortunately, our social worker now believes we won’t be put in the pool for another 3 to 4 months (April-May).

As you can imagine, we were disappointed to hear this news. In an attempt to keep my mind off of it I’ve started trying to network. I’ve been told by other adoptive families that most matches occur because of interpersonal connections (someone’s cousin’s roommate’s younger sister is looking to make an adoption plan for their child). I honestly have no idea what I’m doing. However, I thought I’d give it a shot!

We are using two main tools to network;

Website: www.rachelandjoeadopt.com

Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rachel-Joe-Hoping-to-Adopt/143911249056771  

I am truly overwhelmed with all of the support we've received through our facebook page (we currently have 70 ‘likes’). So many people have been more than willing to share our page on their profile. They have also given us a lot of encouraging words and well wishes. It is wonderful to know we have so much support! Adoption can be a rough road and I know there will be times that we'll need to draw on that support to help us stay calm and composed.

An Update for the New Year

Since it is officially 2012, I decided to write a long overdue adoption update.

The social worker came to our house for the final adoption home visit on December 9^th. She needed to come and look over our home to make sure it was a suitable environment to raise a child. As you could imagine, I was a nervous wreck! I spent a lot of time cleaning the house from top to bottom (even though the social worker had assured us that it wouldn’t be a white glove test). Joe did a wonderful job helping me to stay calm. It turns out my worries were groundless. At the end of the meeting our social worker let us know that our home study was approved! It was a wonderful feeling. Also, our second sets of fingerprints were processed without issue. This means we are all ready to be put in the pool of waiting families. We are due to be put in the pool sometime in January. I will make sure to post another blog once we know when we will be officially waiting.

Since the last visit we have been keeping busy with holiday preparations and gatherings. Now that Christmas and New Year’s is over we will start putting together the nursery. This should be an interesting endeavor since I am not skilled at interior decorating. I plan to ask for a lot of help and opinions! Hopefully my lack of creativity doesn’t prevent us from making a beautiful room for our future son or daughter.